Workaholic

Where am I? Sometimes I wonder.

I fight my depression with meds (of which I don't remember when I took them last), and with life. Lately, the sun seems to be coming out, at least during the week.

I'm a workaholic. I admit it. I love working, and it's good for me. It's time away from the kids, doing something I love, and feeling useful.

As a Mormon mommy, it makes me feel bad, but I'm not meant to stay home with the kids. I wish I could, but I suck at it! Nothing gets done, the kids are grouchy, and I lose my mind and end up crying.

When I'm working, I'm happy, busy, and I enjoy every moment I get with the kids. I'm excited to go home, cuddle the kids, and play games with them. For me, work is therapy, and it's good for me.

Right now my hubby is a stay at home, and he gets more done single handedly than I ever could. The house stays clean, kids are happy and fed, and the laundry actually get done. I could never do that, (trust me, I tried).

My problem is not getting to involved in my work. I love it, I admit that. I'm good at transcribing, and I love getting paid to go to college classes, and not have to do the homework. I love the occasions where I get the opportunity to beta test a program, (sort of related to work, but not on through work) because nothing gives me more satisfaction then finding bugs in a program, and figuring out how to make it better.

I spend way too much time on the internet during my breaks. I check my email, twitter, facebook, Mormon mommy blogs, cakewrecks, zooborns, horrible license plates, the news, and the blogs I like to follow. ... all in all, I'm an internet junkie.

The trick, which I am still trying to figure out, is finding the spot between workaholic (and internetaholic), and mommy. Spending the time with my kids while I'm home, but keeping up to date on things.

I'm sure there's a good side to this ... at least it's not World of Warcraft or some addicting internet game? :-)

Tonight I work late, tomorrow, the kids and I go to the park to make up for it.