Is it my fault?

In honor of valentines Day, I could write a sappy sweet entry on how much I love my husband, and how much he loves me ... but you know what, love is more than sappy. It's what we do every day.

Somehow, I've become a hovermommy, I don't know how it happened, or when it happened. Once upon a time I took my little 18 month old to nursery, smiled, left him, and walked away.

Today, I dropped off my 3 year old in sunbeams, heard him screaming, and turned around. The teacher assured me he'd be fine. And I was hesitant to leave. Yeah, I trust he'll be fine, but ....

My mind flashes back to those comments over the years ... is this what turned me into a hovermommy?

"He went hysterical, I had to bring him back to you"

"He was upsetting the other kids"

"I'm sorry, but I can't babysit your boys anymore at my house. They're too rambunctious"

"He wouldn't calm down."

"there is nothing wrong with your children except poor parenting." (Yes, I actually heard this one)

"We'd stop by, but last time your son taught my son the word no, and we were so careful not to each him that." (Yeah right, like her 2 year old son had never heard the word no in his life?... )

This wasn't a rare occurrence, this was ... ok, I admit it, every freakin week from the time my son was old enough for nursery until he was ... nearly 3? My second son ... until we were called to the nursery, my daughter ... she's barely 2 and just fine when we leave.

But the second son ... he cries when we leave him in primary, but he settles down eventually. And I feel like a bad mom. deep inside, I know I'm not ... entirely. I have things to improve upon, we all do. But ... is it my fault when my 5 year old tics? (It's Tourettes, not those icky creatures that suck blood.). Is it my fault when my son has a meltdown because his seatbelt, or his shoelaces, are crooked? Is it my fault my 3 year old can't talk right?

The answer . . . yes. Half their genes came from me. But, ... no, it's not all poor parenting. Some of it, I've learned, the Lord decided to trust me with children that will never be perfectly normal. It's up to me and my husband to teach them, guide them, lead them, and learn from them. We will do the best we can, and hope they turn out.

We'll do the best we can, and sometimes, trust the Sunbeam teacher to settle down a hysterical child. If he gets too bad, she'll bring him to me.

{Dictionary:

Primary: Sunday school for children

Sunbeam: the youngest class in primary, age 3-4.

Nursery: Sunday school/playtime for children aged 18 months to 3 yrs.

Tic: an involuntary movement: related to tourettes.

Tick: a gross blood sucking creature.

End dictionary: }