A true understanding

Today I realized how nice it is to have somebody who truly understands. I was discussing a problem with a friend of mine; my sister-in-law is pregnant, and from the time she was 10 weeks, I've been getting a picture, every week, of her belly. And told when she hurts, when her belly moves. This is her first baby, obviously.

My friend listened, and said, I bet that hurts. That's a little insensitive of her, isn't it?

Yes, it was. But I hadn't realized why the pictures bothered me until my friend mentioned it. I have three beautiful children, but we've been trying for over a year for another one. Deep inside, I feel there is another child for me. And it's time to have that child. Secondary infertility is not like regular infertility. I've been able to get pregnant, 3 times, now I can't. Both types of infertile mothers hurt, neither hurts more, neither hurts less. They hurt different.

I have been trying to get pregnant, and for 8 months, I've been getting a picture, each week, of her belly. And hearing everything about this pregnancy. And it hurts.

My friend understood and talked to me about to it. She has two children, but couldn't get, and stay, pregnant for nearly 2 years. Now she's having to visit a specialist every week, to keep the baby in her stomach where he belongs.

She knows what it's like to have children, and not be able to get pregnant again. To see everybody around you pregnant, and knowing your family isn't complete, and won't be anytime soon.

Will I get pregnant again? Someday. I hope. I feel it's time, it's just ... I haven't.